I'm so excited for this because we as moms can be so hard on ourselves and I think it's important to understand that we all struggle in our own ways. It's also important to be reminded why we love being moms. And sometimes the best way to do that is by listening to other moms talk about their experiences.
My first mama crush is my sweet friend Shannon. I honestly feel like Shannon and I are long lost sisters. You know when you meet another mom and you just get each other? That's 100% Shannon. Reading her responses to these questions, I felt as if she was reciting my own thoughts and feelings.
She is an amazing mama to her sweet and kind boys, owner of Honeybee Wax Studio and mastermind behind Buddha Brow. She has one of the kindest souls I know and I am honored she agreed to do this for me!
Name:
Shannon Stryker
Kids names and ages:
Addison Jack, age 6.
Dash Grayland, age 18 months
Occupation:
Esthetician, business owner at Honeybee Wax Studio and Buddha Brow
1. How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a mama?
This question totally threw me for a loop. I wasn't expecting it and no one has really ever asked me about it. And for the longest time, this exact question is what defined me as a mother. So, it's interesting that I have kept it in and never really told it's story. It was the source of guilt and resentment for me for a very long time and I still struggle with it, at times, as if it were yesterday. When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I was 23 years old. My now husband, had recently proposed to me, we were planning our wedding and had plans to travel in our first years of marriage. Having a baby was not something I had ever thought about, nor had him and I ever talked about it. We knew we wanted children some day, but not anytime soon. We had too much adventure, being young and falling in love to do. We had too much life to live. The day I found out, I didn't even tell him for the entire day. I instead cried by myself, watching my life fall out between my fingers. Watching my wedding never happen. Watching my career take a back seat to raising a child. I was sad and angry. I was resentful and felt completely lost all of a sudden. And I think that is what happens when life doesn't go as we planned. I suddenly couldn't see the road to my existence at all. And who were my husband and I with a baby? What if we didn't work in that life? That was never something I had ever pictured. When I did finally tell him, he had a similar reaction that I did. We both felt a little lost, but knew we had to make the decision to make the best of it. I really went my entire pregnancy never feeling excited about it. Which saying that makes me so sad, but I remember trying to act excited just for other people and eventually even my husband. I felt horrible that it wasn't a happy event for me, but I couldn't find the light in it at the time. I just couldn't picture what was on the other side of this detour in my life. And then the day came where he was born. I will obviously never forget it, but I won't forget it for more reasons than it being the day he came into our lives. I will remember it always as a day I have never felt such spiritual emotion and connection to another human and the earth. The second I held him, I felt so much peace and I felt like I belonged to something, to someone. The day he was born changed me forever, in the best way possible. The detour lead me to my destination. He was the reason I was on earth. He gifted me a happiness I did not know existed in the world and I am having a hard time even putting that in words. No words, no story, no plan could be put on him. He was just meant to be in every way and he continues to remind me that we make plans, and God laughs at us. We are in free fall, with no plan. All we have is this present moment to make the best of it. And when things don't work out the way we wanted, that is because it was never suppose to be that way. Having kids teaches us this more than anything. They make us give up control. Both my kids have taught me the greatest lessons I have ever learned and it is usually in the hardest moments that I am learning.
2. What is your favorite thing about being a mom?
My favorite thing about being a mom is having the opportunity to raise really nice humans. I love teaching my boys about being kind and how to love. It's really the only thing I am sure I am doing right most of the time, so it comes easy to me. I always say, I don't care if my kids are smart, or good at sports, or if they eat too many sweets or watch too much T.V., as long as they are polite and kind to others, I can be sure I have done my job as their parent.
3. What do you struggle with as a mom?
I can be insecure as a mother. I sometimes worry about how my parenting looks on the outside. I tend to be pretty laid back with my parenting and I sometimes worry that it comes across as not caring enough. And I guess that is where guilt comes in too. I feel guilty a lot for, well everything.
4.. How did you manage to grow such a successful business while raising babies and find the balance between both?
I can manage this because I need this to survive mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I need something in my life that is more than being a mom and taking care of my home. I honestly feel more natural at work, than I do when I am with my kids all day, doing laundry and dishes. And I don't know if that is right to say, but I do know that my work fulfills me in so many ways and it allows me to have an identity beyond being a wife and mother. Which I can say with confidence, makes me a better wife and mother. I am lucky enough to have found a career that I absolutely love. I love my clients, I love running a business and I love what I do. Therefore, even though it is incredibly difficult and it is nothing short of a balancing act every single day, I have been able to successfully do it because my heart lies in both my career and my kids. And most importantly, I have a really supportive husband who makes dinner, changes diapers, wakes up in the middle of the night, runs errands. He really is the main reason.
5. If you could go back and tell your new mama self one thing, what would it be?
It will be hard, but the hard parts always pass eventually and there is truly nothing like building a family. It is where you find what true, unconditional love feels like.
6. What do you do that is just for you?
I do hot yoga, which is basically my religion. I also read a ton of self-help books, which is basically my therapy.
Thank you so much Shannon for sharing. And if anyone us looking for an amazing brow product, I suggest you check out Shannon's line at http://buddhabrow.com/
XO, D
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