First day of preschool

My Darling Bird,

Yesterday was was a big day for you ( and for me too.) You started preschool!

We waited longer than normal to start you in preschool and a lot of it had to do with our anxiety over your allergies and asmtha.  We originally signed you up to start in September but then found out at the orientation that the school was in fact NOT nut free.  Leaving you where you could possibly have a major reaction was something we were not going to do, so we pulled you out. (I already have nightmares about sending you to kindergarten where I can't control what people bring for lunch and the possible effects that could have on you.) I looked for another school but couldn't find one that had openings. But between you and me, I was kind of okay with that.

See, you've been my little sidekick since the day you were born. And with all your hospital visits and health issues, I wasn't sure if I wanted you in someone else's care ( even if it was for a short period.)

But then I came across the perfect place for you. A small, NUT FREE preschool just down the road. I called to talk to the director about my concerns and possibly enrolling you in their school and it turns out her daughter has some of the same health issues as you. So although I was nervous, I signed you up for a trial day to see if it would be a good fit!

The day before we went and bought you a new backpack to ease your nerves. I wanted to to tell you I was nervous too, but I just kept telling you how much fun you would have and the new friends you would make. When you went to bed that night you said you were a little scared and didn't want to go. I really wanted to be selfish and say okay you didn't have to go. But I couldn't. I knew this would be good for you (and so much fun!)

That morning you were so excited to wear your new shirt and backpack but not as excited to actually go to school. You kept asking me for good bye hugs even though we still had hours before your class started. As we got in the car you started to cry and say you didn't want to go, that you wanted me to go in with you. I promised I would stay as long as you needed.

We got to the school and walked in. You wouldn't let go of my hand. We walked through the school to your classroom and hung up your coat and backpack. You quickly grabbed my hand again. The Teacher walked over and asked you to pick out the book for circle time. You looked up a me and smiled. Then you let go of my hand and picked out a book. You walked over to the rug and sat down.

My eyes filled with tears. I was so proud of you. I was so happy but so sad. I sat in the back of the class and watched for a few minutes.  You didn't look back. I walked out of the school and couldn't wait for the hours to pass so I could pick you up and hear all about your morning.

You were beaming when I picked you up and excitedly told me all about your morning and how much fun you had.You showed me around your classroom. You said bye to your new friends and even gave your teacher a hug. You can't wait togo back next week.

And just like that, right before my eyes, my little sidekick grew up. I love you so much and am so so proud of you (even if it broke my heart a little.)


Xoxo, your mama